A Fresh Perspective

We all face struggles in life, ups and downs, peak experiences and rock bottom ones too. As different as we all are, deep in the core, we all want the same things. We want to be loved, we want more pleasure and less pain. Often, we get so caught up in our differences that we lose sight of our connectedness. As humans we tend to label ourselves and each other so much, as if these mental walls could really separate the whole. Haven't you noticed how convinced we are of the truths we have identified with and chosen to view as absolute?  Sometimes we cut ourselves off from an opportunity when we don't think we can measure up to certain expectations.  Today, I want to encourage you to pay very close attention to the barriers you have set up for yourself which are keeping you from your highest potential.  Trust me, you have them, we all do!  Perhaps there is a gap between you and a loved one that needs attention.  You might secretly be wishing you could reconnect with someone or repair a relationship which has been broken for too long.  Well, if you are reading this, there is opportunity knocking at your door.  A healing is available, a miracle awaits.  


Why can't life just be simple?  Well, it kind of is.  Not that it's easy and you don't have to work at it.  But rather, we tend to complicate ourselves way too much.  A relationship between two people is a partnership and requires attention from both individuals.  Whenever you have two worlds merging into one, it can get messy.  The thing is, we look at the other person and expect to receive value.  Then, when our interpretation of value doesn't line up with theirs, we have conflict.  We have our own ideas of what is "right" or "wrong" and are constantly playing defense. Making our point known becomes like scoring a touchdown.  As we continue building up our list of annoyances, we disconnect more and more each time our "opponent" does it again! We don't realize how much we hurt ourselves when we let all the little offenses build up inside until the bubble bursts.  Then, we begin to question whether or not we are even playing on the same team.  See it starts out small.  One issue, okay maybe a few.  Then it's like too many issues so it must be the person.  Okay wait, it has to be the relationship because we clash way too much.  There is no understanding, compassion, or compatibility for that matter.  What am I doing here?  Sound familiar?  Maybe, it's not your romantic relationship...maybe it's one of your parents, kids, friends, teachers, boss, coworker, client, etc.  Either way, when you have an unresolved conflict, especially if you choose to ignore it or you bury the hurt, you are choosing to accept the stress that comes along with that choice.  Even if you are unaware that you have made a choice to blame the other, or to make an excuse as to why there is no solution, you still suffer the consequences.  You might even resent this person for bringing out the worst in you.  In case you didn't know, these are all toxic energies...poison that you are swallowing in the form of thoughts, mindsets, emotions that drain you of your vital energy and cause disease.


"So what can I do about it?", you ask.  And though each case is different and we are NOT a one size fits all community...we can all start by recognizing that we are all connected.  If you can at least bring awareness to that truth, then you are off to a great start.  So how are we connected and what solution can that possibly have to offer me?  We were all created from the same material, weren't we?  We are all energy.  We are souls expressing God's love...or not.  It is humbling to realign with the basic principles of life. So, in times when you feel you can't humble yourself, I say you focus on that which you have in common to wake up for a moment and drag you back in from ego.  The part of us that feels threatened is the ego.  And since "you cannot solve a problem from the same mind that created it".  I say, get out of your mind!  Get back to your heart and see the situation from a fresh perspective.  I am in no way saying that what the other person has done is acceptable.  I am not saying you should condone abusive behavior or neglect.  I am saying that fighting about it, is not helpful in any way.  Hate, anger, resentment are not to be ignored either.  Burying negative emotions instead of dealing with them is very damaging to your well-being and detrimental to your relationship...especially your relationship with yourself.  I am saying that your best approach is to bring light to the situation.  Feel the emotion fully but don't become it or let it take over and control you.  From a peaceful humble place, you can move forward.  Become the change.  Stop trying to control that which cannot be controlled.  In resisting what is, you create suffering.  In allowing, there is freedom.  What you can control is your reaction.  There is immense power when you are clear with what you want (love, joy, peace, purpose, etc) and then let go of the need to control, get out of the way, leave it to God!  As destructive as some people become when trapped in their minds that they will do anything in their power to defend their position.  This is not the way of a true warrior.  A warrior sees every challenge as a gift or an opportunity to strengthen oneself and the bond he/she has with life and the people in it.  A warrior chooses to live life with purpose choosing love as the map to fulfillment.  In every moment and with every choice, we could either be empowered or be depleted.  With every relationship, we have the opportunity to uplift others by asking ourselves what we could do to serve or asking God to use us.  Of course, if you approach life and relationships with suspicion, as if people are out to get you, then you will miss out on the joy that comes from trusting in God's will.  Unfortunately, you will be a burden instead of a blessing...hey, your choice creates your experience.  

In conclusion, the answer lies within.  The problem you wish to correct on the outside can only begin to be solved by accepting that there is no problem; only our thinking makes it a problem.  If you want to change your experience, you must change your perception of it.  Being responsible for your attitude, which is directly related to your outcome, is the key.  The secret to success is letting go of those habits and thought patterns which take up all your energy and leave you feeling drained and powerless.  STOP blaming others and external circumstances for your internal mess.  If you clean out your spiritual closet, change the internal dialogue and consistently choose to be true to yourself, then you are on the road to success.  If someone or something is dragging you down or keeping you from living your full potential, ask God to give you wisdom to remove all obstacles from your path.  When God speaks, don't doubt, take action.  And NEVER ever give up on yourself...giving up is suicide.  Instead, know that if you surrender your life to God, meaning if you choose to reach your full potential and be who you were created to be, you will be fulfilled beyond your expectations.  It's so worth getting out of your own way.  Bye bye excuses and insecurities....hello infinite possibilities!!!


Cheers to your fearlessness 
& persistence in the dream!
I know you will succeed :)

Fresh & Fearless,
Jennifer O.

Wellness Is A State Of Being

People have asked me in the past, how I have lost as much as 50 lbs. at a time. When I have made a commitment to shed the pounds, I haven't done so through any specific diet program. I simply get it done in the mind first and then I make sure to keep vibrating at the "healthy fit lifestyle" energy level. I would say it's mostly my attitude and unwavering faith that get me to that end goal. The weight loss and awesomeness are just byproducts of that state of being.Once I decide to undergo this transformation, it's like in all areas of life, (spiritual, relationship, financial, physical, intellectual), I must first get in the "spirit" of that end goal. How does a healthy and fit person feel, think, speak, act??? I ask God to guide me and make the process effortless and enjoyable. Dare I say, it is almost like tuning in to a specific radio station or TV channel inside me. I just stay focused fully on the end result. I act as if I'm there already. There is no alternative. There are no doubts. It's done. I have accomplished this 3 times already. The first time I lost 50 pounds was before I had children. I only gained the weight back with my pregnancies and lost all of it twice. This time with my third and final pregnancy, I haven't doubted for a minute that it will be the same or an even better result. I felt inspired to document it and share. I am no different from you in the sense that we all have our inner demons attacking our intention. Each time I set forth on the weight loss/fitness journey, I hear all the negative self talk. I have faced challenges, injuries, and setbacks that my inner gremlin loves to throw at me as excuses to quit. But, for me, it's just not an option. I get passionate about this wellness endeavor. I take it on as a fun project. I get filled with enthusiasm and it does become effortless and enjoyable because... I let go and let God. Then, lo and behold! He hooks me up with the most delicious healthy meal inspirations and presents me with several cardio and strengthening activities that are suited to my personality that I end up falling in love with. We are human beings...not human doings. Instead of planning out what you must do to lose the weight...try changing or reprogramming your mind to who you must be. Once you are in the right state of being, expect God to design the perfect plan for you. Allow Him to personally guide your adventure and give you the creativity to choose the right course for you. Then, take action! And keep going no matter what. If you want to change, you must be the change...become it! Never ever give up. You will achieve it, be certain of it!

Most people approach weight loss with fear and loathing. It becomes all about sacrifice and deprivation. With that mentality, you are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. As a result, you end up with a twisted perspective and a bunch of lies and excuses about why you are not being the person you desire to be. The insecurities and low self esteem then keep you from achieving other goals and dreams. Don't believe your gremlin. Take back your power. You can do it...you really can!

I will be updating blog with my progress! Email fearlessjenny@gmail.com for inspired weight loss coaching...or if you simply need someone to hold you accountable and help you stay on track!

In Fearlessness and Enthusiasm,
J E N N I F E R O R E L L A N A