Press play and see what I'm about
I will begin by saying that for as long as I can remember, I have had a deep spiritual calling on my life and I have felt like I am destined for greatness. I know, sounds a bit mystical but it's just how I felt! I have a burning desire to be of service and make a contribution to the world. In my early youth, I went to church, fell in love with Jesus, and really got into Christianity for a while. This is where I met the love of my life, (now my husband and best friend) Robert, when I was 13. My cousin Gabriel introduced us and played matchmaker at a retreat. We only saw each other at the church's Youth Group and spoke on the phone for the first couple years. But, we knew we would get married someday. My teenage years were not the best of my life. The love I had for God, my boyfriend and my drama club activities in high school kept me going. But, I had major communication issues with my parents which led to depression and all that adolescent insecurity crap. I always felt misunderstood by everyone and therefore, was really shy, quiet, nervous and insecure. I believed that I was a really poor communicator. That and the fear of failure combined with a victim mentality was my ticket to the downward spiral which became my life. I will save the details for another time, but let me just say that things got ugly. My love left me. Over time, I developed disgust for the Christian religion and felt like there was too much hypocrisy and very little Christlike Christians. All of my dearest friendships were broken at some point. My relationship with my family was in turmoil. I admit I made a stream of horrible choices. I attracted the wrong people, jobs, and circumstances into my life. I suffered and caused others to suffer. I would have died if it weren't for the vision I knew was still buried inside me that I had yet to bring to life.
I spent many years at war with myself trying to make sense of
my inner struggles of having such a grand vision for my life and yet failing at the most basic relationships with my parents. I felt like I couldn't be myself and bring a smile to their faces so how could I ever make the world a better place. They were strict and highly suspicious. I know they always have loved me and just wanted the best for me, but they feared the worst. I am a very sensitive individual and some things that others could shake off easily, hurt me real bad. Then I also replayed several memories in my head from when I was little and I stayed in my grandmother's house after school and over summer breaks. I always felt like a burden instead of a blessing. I witnessed my friends and cousins being treated like princesses by their abuelas and really wanted to be a spoiled grandchild too. These stories I relived over and over were poison to my ego. I really did have a great childhood, all drama aside. I am completely at peace now, at the present moment, without any resentments or bitterness. But, that took some effort on my part. Not a forced forgiveness, but a real shift in thought. I had to bring awareness to the choice that I always had: to feed the self-pity, poor me, victim story or not. To see that the actions people took in the past that affected me in a negative way were not choices made in a higher awareness or an awakened, spiritually evolved state. They did not know what they were doing...yes, Jesus said it best. After years of torture. I finally got what that meant. It hasn't had the power to affect me ever again. Completely squashed. Done. I am grateful that my parents always showed me love and I had other people in my childhood life who took interest in me and made me feel welcome in their families. I have a great relationship with my parents today and my kids have the royal treatment from the grandparents that I so much desired for my own life. We are truly blessed.
Even in my weakest moments, and I've had plenty, I somehow felt like all these struggles were just preparing me for that ultimate mission of transforming lives. Life experiences were teaching me volumes but I didn't know where and how to train professionally for such a calling. Nothing I did to further
my education felt adequate. I followed some of my interests and tried
to find my place in the world. I studied some business and psychology but never completed college. I got into music but never mastered an instrument. I am not completely ignorant and I am not a quitter. I knew that once I found my niche, I would dive in, give it my all and fulfill my purpose. The only problem was that after years of anxiety, searching for the right college major, I still couldn't find the one for me. So, I made myself a promise to never stop learning or give up on my education. I was determined to find my purpose and realize my dream even if it wasn't at the university. So, I read and read and read some more. I read The Bible and books about The Bible. Then, I went on to read up on several other religions and spiritual messengers. When I wasn't reading, I was watching videos and attending webinars and listening to podcasts and taking classes all in the field of spirituality and personal development and it's an ongoing process that I love. I love what it...I call it "God"...had done for me. And I really get excited about what it could do for others.
I am passionate about helping others create a meaningful life. I feel most alive when I am helping someone else let go of their own fears and energy blockages and awaken. I remember asking God to use me when I was just a teenager. I can honestly say that I look back at all the craziness I have experienced in awe and gratitude. I have a deep appreciation for the ground I have already covered and now I can see that it was all setting me up for this very moment. I know firsthand what it is to battle fear, separation, insecurity, heartache, depression, addiction, guilt, shame, anger, loss, grief and to barely survive in lack and limitation. I am here to reach out to people who are facing similar challenges today. I know that life's challenges never end, we will always have obstacles. But, when there is a strong foundation of faith, nothing is too big, nothing is impossible. I am here to serve. My journey is an ongoing process of growth and transformation. My spiritual and my relationship pillars went from "rags to riches". I am now happily married to my best friend and we have three beautiful children. Our dream of having this amazing family had come true. We are still amazed at everything we have overcome and how worthwhile it has all turned out to be.
I now begin this blog with my finances at zero, a Hodgkins Lymphoma diagnosis, currently pregnant and having chemotherapy treatment. I will be documenting the transformation process of wealth being built from the inside out. True wealth comes from within. Our faith does most certainly effect the outcome of our lives.
I am asking you to join me in this movement so that we may encourage each other and celebrate our successes together. It is an honor for me to deliver this message of hope. I want to remind you to do the work which is required to build up your confidence and have the courage to take on all those fears, doubts, excuses, stereotypes, judgments. You don't have to do it alone. I love to empower others to get connected to their infinite creative selves. I feel a sense of fulfillment when I help others open up to a world of possibility they never knew existed. When I am doing this work, it's as if God is flowing through me. I am in complete surrender, being my authentic self, doing God's will. I am ready to hear from you. It's time for a life changing experience, don't you think?
It is a privilege for me to serve all. This movement has nothing to do with religion, exclusion, or any ego-specific views. My love is universal and all-inclusive. Not only do I not discriminate, but I actually welcome the minority, outcasts, freaks and weirdos such as myself with open arms!!
Email me for a free coaching session: fearlessjenny@gmail.com.
In Love & Everlasting Joy,
"Fearless Jenny"
validation :)
